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Monday, May 22nd, 2006
1:44 pm
Well, it so happens that I got every last thing on my birthday list. Ariel must have done a great job spreading it far and wide, and while she didn't make me a chocolate vacation, it did have dinosaurs on it. Stretchy dinosaurs. Damn right.

I have been re-deployed to the outbound section of the mailroom, where there is nothing to do. And yet the rest of the staff has mysteriously disappeared, so I have been left to man the service desk without my break. I am thinking endlessly about cooking on my new grill, and wondering if Ariel would object to another night of hamburgers (and perhaps good char-broiled potatoes with fresh herbs and spices and plenty of salt). Honey, if you're reading this, call me at work. I miss you and I want to grill for dinner, but you have to approve it first.

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Monday, May 8th, 2006
12:14 pm
Things I want for my birthday:

- Small charcoal barbeque grill
- Electric razor
- Warm sweaters
- Fantastic dark roast ground coffee
- A vacation

I'm high on Celexa, so I may edit this list later. Fair warning.

current mood: high

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Saturday, May 6th, 2006
1:17 pm
Usually I post from work, but I just haven't had time lately.

It feels like every time I sit down at my desk to finally wade through whatever database updates are piling up...or reply to all those emails in my inbox...or finish the scripting I've been working on...something else pulls me away. Why do I bother complaining, anyhow? It's my life, the status quo. Too much coffee, too many cigarettes, never enough hours in the day. They pass by like this one after another, and soon they all start to meld together. I mark the hours of most of them by counting the number of times I say to myself, "Fuck it, this isn't going to happen today. Maybe tomorrow." It's terrible to be constantly running on that treadmill, finishing whatever is on my plate just as a new set of tasks appears over the horizon. I can never get caught up, never reach any sort of equilibrium, never have a clean slate.

Hmm...I sort of talked myself into a corner there, didn't I? Why don't I come up with something more meaningful to post, rather than senseless ranting? Because that takes time, silly. And besides, I have to make some more coffee, smoke another cigarette, and start in with the chores.

current mood: pretty apathetic

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Monday, May 1st, 2006
12:15 am
Reasons Why Toddlers are Challenging -- A Continuing Series

Reason #2:

current mood: exhausted

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Saturday, April 29th, 2006
11:31 pm - Should I invest in a hairnet and rubber gloves?
When I get frustrated, I go on a cleaning binge. Does that make me a girlie man? Most certainly, but I don't care. Once, just once -- I will clean this apartment from top to bottom. It will probably be when we move, and I will not know the glory of a completely clean living space. This is how my life typically works. It's an episode of Seinfeld, like everything in the universe.

current mood: blah

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12:48 pm
For breakfast this morning, I had:

I suppose that picture is a sign that I'm avoiding work more than usual today, since they sent me home with a laptop for trudging through database/SQL/PHP nonsense when I'm not in the basement as well. The fact of the matter is that I've been dropped into the deep end on a lot of it, and rather than make their expectations of me more realistic (*ahem*), they sent me away with a means for it torture me at home until I get it right. I am being groomed for big things. I'm a blue-collar boy in a white-collar world. There are talks of "committees" and "meetings" and the whole thing somehow seems to really be surrounding somebody else. I mean, it's only mail for christ's sake, how hard can it be?

I'm going to need to corral the munchkin, whose newest hobby is to scale the sheer heights of whatever barricade we try to build to keep her out of the computer area. She was up early because she knew I wanted to sleep in, and therefore took her nap early and is already fussy. We'll probably both get dressed and go for a walk in the fog.

current mood: gloomy

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Thursday, April 27th, 2006
6:49 pm
I thought about posting a screenshot of my desktop at work today, just to confuse everyone on my "Friends" list. Y'know, log on to Livejournal and...what's this? Somebody's desktop, with their email and Filemaker database open, along with random filenames and information about people I don't know? Yeah, that'd be pretty devious of me. Hoo boy, what a killer I am. Not really. It's the painkillers, I swear.

But rather than impress on everyone the tedium of my day, I instead came home and played with Vera, giving her mommy a much needed break. We read books and she ate pears, honeydew, pineapples, and cheddar mashed potatoes with summer vegetables. We shared a blueberry muffin for dessert and she washed it down with soymilk, myself with Diet "Berries & Cream" Dr. Pepper. Ariel had a bit of a hard time with her today (toddlers are often fussy), but now she's very full and happy and watching her Virtual Wonderland Party. Again. I swear I've memorized that thing.

I guess Ariel isn't feeling well again, just in time for me to step up to the plate. Sometimes it seems like we have this push-pull illness/injury relationship, whereby one or the other of us is ailing from something at any given time. I have personally, in the past two months: gotten pneumonia, fractured a rib, and contracted strep throat (or some related virus). I can't wait to see what happens to me next, it better to be good. Maybe it'll be terminal -- what a buzz-kill.

I'm off to smoke a cigarette since the wee one is occupied. I promise not to post any snide shots of my screen in the near future, unless it has something really juicy and top-secret on it. Then maybe I can be indicted just like all my heroes on Capitol Hill! Go team!

(Disclaimer: I am not really a Republican)

current mood: numb

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10:07 am
Well I'm back at work. Sound the trumpets, bang the gong, woo-hoo.

I still don't feel good. My throat hurts and I think my fever is coming back, but I took some acitaminophen about 20 minutes ago, so I should be okay. I need to take some ibuprofen for the inflammation, too, but I don't want to over-medicate myself. Dammit.

There's actually a lull here, which is nice since my fever is making me sort of dizzy. I'm camping out at my desk (yes, I have a desk now. *Ahem*) waiting for emails to come back about the whereabouts of various employees who aren't in our delivery database, or possibly for some more results of our periodic staff/faculty survey to come back to so I can update them. Just stimulating, isn't it? This is normally the time when I'd be balancing my checkbook or running the budget for next month, but I forgot it all at home. *Sniff*

Poor Ariel, she didn't get any sleep last night. Those damn neighbors. I'm fairly sure that all they know how to do is watch movies and copulate incessantly. They must not live together. There's more to life, folks.

Like cute little toddlers! Jesus, I miss her. And Ariel...I love you guys, hang tight until Daddy gets home.

current mood: sore

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Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
8:04 pm - We like to read before bedtime.
After no nap...and a hard day of playing...it's time for bed.

"Only five books tonight, Daddy," she says. "No, Vera, just one."

current mood: relaxed

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6:32 pm - My fever was quite nice, how was yours?
I am back from my trip to delirium for the past two days, maybe more. It isn't very often that I find myself so sick and feverish that I actually black out for a while, but I don't really remember much of those first twenty four hours I was bedridden. Boo hoo, poor me, blah blah. It was some sort of virus, I think. I feel much better now -- Vera has finished her mashed potatoes and ravioli and is watching her Virtual Wonderland Party, and I'm starting to clean up the mess her mommy left for me. I missed them both so very much, as well as eating and bathing. Yes, it's nice to feel better.

The jackalope sez: "Eat those raviolis, little girl, or I'm gonna eat your little toes!"

(Okay, the jackalope doen't say that, Daddy does. But I still thought it bore repeating. Hell, I might eat them no matter what.)

current mood: sick

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Monday, April 24th, 2006
11:04 am
If you drink any canned beverage so caffeinated that it has the word "fury" written on it, you need to be put in rehab until you sweat and scream it out of your system. Then you can finally be free of the paranoia you feel when you have to ride the elevator that talks to you across the street.

Seriously, I'm morfitied of that thing. But would you rather walk up and down five flights of stairs? I suppose it depends on how much Fury you've had up to that point.

"Fifth floor, going down." Please, lady, I want to live!

current mood: pensive

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Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
10:31 pm
Reasons Why Toddlers are Challenging -- A Continuing Series

Reason #1:

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Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
10:30 pm - Where's the fanfare?
...but thy words, with grace divine
Imbued, bring to their sweetness no satiety.

- John Milton,
Paradise Lost

If only.

I'm not even sure if there's a soul left out there who remembers I have a Livejournal account, much less one of those few who has stuck around to read it by now. But given that I now spend innumerable hours of my work day sitting in front of a computer, I figured I ought to find some semi-constructive distraction from data entry. And now you're reading it. Aren't you lucky.

Since Ariel covers our family life as completely as anyone could expect (especially the adventures and misadventures of the ever-precocious Princess Vera), I can't claim that there's a shred of interesting material in the remainder of my life. Anyone who spends as much time as me in FileMaker Pro can vouch for this, as well as anyone who has ever stood for hours in a basement sorting mail. But below (in no particular order) are the two things that make it all worthwhile. They are also two of the reasons it is necessary for me to consume a prodigious amount of caffeine in a day, but that's a story for another evening.

Even still, I am the luckiest man alive.

current mood: exhausted

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